For the Women
Ladies, this one’s for us. With the way society is today, comparison is almost ingrained in our blood. We watch shows and there’s girls talking about how they wish they looked more like this celebrity or like some popular girl at school. It almost seems like conversation is meant to be like that. Honestly, when I was younger, I felt weird because my friends were talking about how they wish they had lips like Angelina or a body like a Victoria’s Secret model and things of that sort and I didn’t. It made me feel like I had to start talking and thinking like that.
As I got older, social media became more of a thing. More present in our everyday lives. This created a whole new feeding ground for comparison as the perfect pictures of beautiful people seemed to be everywhere. It honestly makes you question the way you’re doing life and presenting yourself. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes seeing nice pictures can be inspirational. But many of us see them and instantly start seeing what’s “wrong” with our own selves, our own bodies, our success, even our faith. That’s right. There’s even comparison among the church between holiness, dress and more.
I’m just going to put it blatantly. We need to stop.
We need to stop.
We will never be happy in this world until we are happy with our own selves. If you want to be thinner or work on yourself in another way, that’s fine. It can be perfectly healthy. But stop comparing yourself with other women.
I’m Guilty Too
And when I say that, take into mind that I’m right there with you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. Because as much as I would like to think that I don’t do it, after my countless scrolls through Instagram, I find myself wondering why I’m not as successful as one person or getting as many likes as another. When this stuff starts happening and you fall into that lapse, it can be really painful for your self esteem and how you see your own self worth. Personally, for me, it made me feel not good enough.
Comparing To Your Past Self
This stuff needs to end. What also needs to end is comparing your present self to your past self. Yes, I said it. I don’t care how much better you thought you used to be. You need to appreciate where you are now. And if you don’t like where you are now, change it, but for yourself only and not because you feel pressured by society.
Obviously, it’s going to happen on occasion, but we need to take control of our thoughts. Most importantly, we need to stop comparing ourselves. It’s not a competition. We are all unique and doing our own thing. We’re all in our own chapters in separate niches and each person grows differently. We don’t compare cheesecake to french fries but my gosh they’re both delicious and beautiful. Two completely separate things, but great in their own ways.
We are Sisters, Not a Competition
With all that being said, I want all of us to start thinking of each other more as sisters in Christ, uplifting each other and being happy for each others’ success, differences, strengths and even helping each other through our weaknesses. We are meant to be a community, not a competition, and surely not meant to compare.
“Perfect” Photographs Can Be a Lie
Those pictures you see online are sometimes edited so much that the reality is altered. After all, some of the greatest photographers call a photograph a lie because of the way we alter them and change them to our liking. Prime example is an image I shared on Instagram and Facebook compared to the original (also found in my blog post For the Love of Primark. Yes, I edited all of those):
Now, I won’t ever alter my weight or the way I look or anything, but I most definitely changed that hideous colored wall, brightened the colors of the outfit to more of how they look in person and upped the exposure via the Photoshop Express app on my phone. Why am I sharing this? Because a friend told me how nice that image looked and how I looked perfect. Others tell me how they struggle with getting a “perfect photo.” I really don’t think a perfect photo exists! We don’t know how much a person is even changing their images, so please don’t feel bad that your image doesn’t look “perfect.” Perfect does not exist aside from Christ and comparison is the thief of joy.
I really hope this helped someone. If anyone else falls into this and would like to talk more about it to feel like someone is there and they want a community, reach out to me or others you know care. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org.